Sunday, February 19, 2012

What I've done. Not what I'm going to do.

I've had a really full on week this week. Or maybe I just think it's been full on. There's a lot going on in my head and quite a few plans that need to be made. So I've been putting off writing this week's post. All this 'going on in my head' has meant not much time for working on ideas and what to write about. This makes me feel bad.

Writing, and this blog, is something that I want to take seriously but I definitely feel the pressure to write well and to write something that means something. If you know what I mean. I don't just want to put out crap or a half-arsed post. I'm not saying it'll never happen but if I can avoid it, I'd like to try.

Because of my apparent limited brain capacity (I'm probably at about 90% right now so it's pretty chocca) I've taken some advice from one of my favourite people and one of my hands-down best friends, Abee aka Kitten. At the time she told me this advice (yesterday on the train back from Brighton) she was actually talking about advice that was given to her and her own situation. I don't think she realised she was indirectly giving me advice too, but I'm glad she did! The advice was to take some time to acknowledge what you've done, what you've achieved, instead of constantly looking at what needs to be done. And forever writing 'to do' lists. Lists are great but they can also make you feel stressed out when you take a look at them and all the tasks seem a little too daunting. Too many lists = a lot to do. Simplify your lists people.

When I look back at what I've done in the past year, I feel overwhelmed and a little amazed. Sometimes I wonder if I'm also possibly a tad crazy for trying to squish so much into such a small amount of time. I'm at once tired and energized, but also happy and strangely satisfied. I'm proud of myself for doing so many big, scary things and I'm really glad that I did them.

This is my last year in a nutshell:

I moved to a new city and re-connected with someone I love. I started a new job, I nurtured a passion (cakes!). I then left that 'new' city, quit that 'new' job, and once again dis-connected (location only) from that someone I love.

I moved countries - halfway across the world! I traveled with my mum and sister through France, Switzerland, Italy and Venice. I loved Venice! I loved it all! I drank Champagne in Champagne, I ate fondue in Gruyere, I went to the top of one of the Swiss Alps, I wandered cobbled streets in Bergamo (so pretty) and got lost in the little streets of Venice. I had a charming old Venetian man spontaneously serenade my sister and I with Opera in the middle of the day while watching the Regata Storica. I messed up the video, but can replay it in my head.

My family lost a loved one (not an achievement but something to most definitely be acknowledged because she was very special). This person was also a motivator in making me do many of the things I've done this year - mostly travel and I hope she is happy with what I chose to do! I think she would be.

I got to know my big, loud, fun and fiercely loyal family in London - which is very cool! And I made connections with them that I hope will always be there. (Girls, you know where to find me).

I started another new job, this time in an all new industry (cakes!). I learned loads of new skills, and am still learning. I met some people who I hope I will always stay in touch with because they made my transition to London that much easier and entertain, inspire and encourage me just by being themselves (Zoe, I'm talking about you)!

I also gained a new family back home in New Zealand, thanks to my mum's impending nuptials! And a very special new family member in America - our little Lilah Boo.

It's been a busy year, a completely FULL year. And I'm not going to lie, I am tired. There are loads of other things that have happened that aren't mentioned above and of course, there are always things to come. Exciting things. Scary things. But I'm not going to think about those right now. Right now I will say 'this is what I have done' and leave it at that. Tomorrow I can look at my lists. x

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